I have a need to participate in some kind of ritual to commemorate my passage into the warrior class.
When I finished bathing this evening and after slipping on my nightgown, I spotted the biggest stinking spider I have ever seen sitting on my sink near my hairspray.
I am not afraid of spiders, but that one made me holler. He was big and fat with long spidery legs. I think he wanted my hairspray. He was certainly big enough to carry it off.
I had to kill him. I wasn’t going to live in the same bathroom with him. Besides I paid good money for that hairspray.
He whipped his large bloated body around on his spidery legs as a shuddered past him.
“My phone,” I thought, “my phone. I need a picture . . . and my shoe. ”
I found both and went back to my bathroom armed for battle. I opened the door and looked for that big big spider. He had MOVED.
“Oh no! Where is he?”
I saw him. He had moved to a the other side of the sink. I took the picture. He must have been camera shy because he shifted a bit at the flash.
That scared me.
I grasped my shoe tightly and with the cry of a warrior, I hit that spider with all of my might. Everything on my vanity bounced.
Did you know that if you smack a really large spider hard enough, it will liquefy? Even its nasty long spidery legs? Splashed all over the vanity and sink and mirror.
All is clean now. The enemy has been vanquished.
I am going to have some ice cream.